Facilitator FAQs
Why should I be a facilitator?
The better question is, "Why wouldn't you want to be a facilitator?" The fact that you are visiting this site and thinking about healthy emotions indicates you care about your growth and well being. Being a facilitator is one of the best ways to reach that goal. Your primary function as a facilitator is to create an environment where it is safe to share, to learn, to explore for everyone, including you. That is exactly the best place for you to grow. Being a facilitator is not about being "in charge." It is not about telling others what to do. It IS about inviting others to join you on the most exciting, life-changing adventure you've ever experienced.
What special skills do I need to be a facilitator?
If you think "Special Skills" means degrees and education, the answer is NONE. However, the most successful facilitators share these characteristics:
• Are willing to be vulnerable and share with others
• Accepts the role because they want to grow, not because they want to control or tell others what to do
• Have a desire to become emotionally healthy not only for themselves but for others
• Are organized - meaning keeping things on track, moving through material appropriately, making sure everyone has a chance to share, etc.
• Can ask tough questions when needed, for example "XXXX, I've noticed you've been quiet, how are you feeling about . . . ."
• Can focus on their own issues and problems
What jobs / tasks will I do as a facilitator?
Your primary function is to be a coordinator. You organize things like:
• Setting up the room
• Ensuring that the DVDs and equipment are ready
• Seeing that a Contract of Understanding is signed by everyone and that you file a copy
• Collecting weekly fees (see What Happens to the Money I'm Supposed to Collect Every Week)
• Maintaining a file of emergency contact numbers
• Starting and stopping each session at the agreed time
• Seeing that everyone has opportunity to share on every question
• Keeping the discussion moving
• The most important item - modeling vulnerability and effort to personally dig deep on all issues
What if I don't know the answer to a question?
If the goal of your The Journey small group is established at the first session, there should almost never be a question that you can't answer. The culture you want to build is where each person looks at his/her own history, behavior, thoughts and feelings. Using that background, the work book will help each class member gain new insights. Therefore, everyone should be resolving issues for themselves, not telling others what to do.
Of course, there will be discussion about the insights that each of you shares. But there should almost never be a time when someone asks, "What do you think I should do?" When that happens, you should respond, "What do you think you should do?" or "how are you feeling about ________?"
Being a facilitator is NOT about teaching concepts to people. It is NOT giving out information. It IS about creating an environment where each person feels safe in looking at him/herself and sharing what he/she is discovering.
Your role as a facilitator is not that of a mental health professional or a doctor. When someone appears to exhibit behaviors that might be considered dangerous, talks about doing damage to them self or others, is in danger of physical or sexual assault, or other extreme behaviors, it is important that you encourage this individual to seek professional help.
Why are class members asked to sign a contract?
The Contract is a tool to help people understand a couple principles before they ever start. It gives facilitators an opportunity to discuss things like:
• What goes on in class, stays in class - confidentiality is the #1, never-to-be-broken rule!
• Each class member is responsible for his/her own recovery. Class is about working on you.
• Small group is not designed to be a therapy session.
• Class members are expected to be supportive of each other and the process.
• Attendance
What do I do if someone keeps missing class?
Attendance is discussed the first night. If someone knows that he/she will need to miss several sessions, it would be wise to wait for a future small group. However, emergencies happen and people must be absent. Missing a single session is not a problem if the individual watches the DVD and reviews the material by himself. However, missing multiple sessions or sporadic attendance cheats not only the individual but the whole class.
This issue should be a private conversation between the facilitator and class member. Encouragement and resolution should be sought. If the individual can not commit to fulfilling the attendance agreement, it would be best to drop out and wait for a future group when circumstances will allow regular attendance.
What do I do if someone talks about suicide?
All of us get discouraged with life but that doesn't mean we are serious about killing ourselves, even if we comment about wishing for peace. However, it is not your place to solve suicide crises. Check this individual's Registration Form to see if a history of depression or suicide has been listed. Encourage this individual to make an appointment with the doctor or counselor listed on the form. The good news is that it is very unlikely that you will find yourself in this situation.
What do I do if someone exhibits bizarre behavior?
Please see the response to the suicide question. The same principles apply.
How do I deal with class members who never talk?
The real question for you to figure out is, why they are not talking.
• Don't feel safe?
• Isn't willing to do the work?
• Embarrassed about the past?
• Feels class mates will use the info against them?
• Needs more time to process and works at a slower pace?
The whole class should automatically make it a priority to encourage everyone to participate. Ask questions like, "What do think about …..?" "How do you feel about ….?" "What are you feeling right now?"
If silent behavior is continued, a private conversation with the facilitator and class member would be good. Be honest, "I don't know how to react when you sit there quietly. Do you want me to press you for answers? Is something going on that inhibits you from sharing?" Every person benefits from a small group in proportion to what they invest. Talking and writing are two of the most important tools to invest in growth.
How do I deal with someone who talks too much?
Try strategies likes these:
• "Does anyone else have something to say?"
• "Let's give XXXX a turn."
• "Before we can move on, we need to hear from everyone."
• "YYYY I'm watching the clock and we have a lot more work to do tonight so we need you to wrap up your story quickly."
• As facilitator you should remind everyone that it is important to share. Try to develop a culture that is inclusive.
• You may want to get some sort of timing device so everyone gets their time. However, this needs to be used with flexibility.
What do I do if no one talks?
The #1 task of the facilitator is to model vulnerable, sharing behavior. This is especially true in early sessions. Others having witnessed your sharing will be more willing to open up themselves. You may want to privately ask a chosen class member to be the first one to share on question #2.
After the first couple sessions, it is usually the reverse problem - too much to share. If you have continued problems with sharing, a class discussion is in order. "Why do you think we have such a difficult time sharing with each other?"
Do I really have to show the DVDs?
Groups are strongly encouraged to watch the DVDs before each lesson. It is true that every minute of every DVD is not going to stimulate the thinking of every person. There might even be a night when the whole group feels less than inspired. However, the plan works! If you want the best results, follow the recipe. The small group experience has been planned for maximum effectiveness. People learn in different ways. People respond to different stimuli. Use all of the tools for maximum effectiveness.
Why can't people just do everything by themselves at home?
They can - yes you read that correctly - but also read the next sentence! The odds are high that they will get only 20% of the benefit and growth by working on it by themselves. Discussion and listening are two powerful tools that stimulate growth. It is by listening to others that our own memories are re-kindled. It is by sharing with others that we begin to remove the emotional pain attached to memories. In addition, others will be encouraged and their own growth stimulated by your sharing. Together the group can accomplish significantly more than the total of individual accomplishments.
However, it should be noted that doing it by yourself is better than doing nothing. It is far from the ideal scenario. It takes little effort to find a couple people to join you and the rewards are immense.
Do I have to take every question in order?
The questions have been designed to help people get from Point A to Point B. They lead you through a logical thought process. So the answer is yes, it is best to take the questions in order. However, as a facilitator you should feel free to use limited flexibility if done for a specific need of the class.
For example, last week the group really struggled with a question and didn't really finish the discussion. In this week's lesson, question #3 might be related. You may want to start with #3 to reach a conclusion on last week before you move ahead.
If you totally skip a question(s), encourage members to answer it as homework. Next week, start with this question so people can briefly share any "ah-ha" they had.
What if we don't get to every question?
Each question is important to some aspect of the learning experience. However, it is often the case that a particular question requires more time and discussion than others. Certain issues may be more meaningful to your group than other issues. Each group will be different. It is often the case that a group will spend a disproportionate amount of time on one question. As a facilitator, if you sense that the group (not just one individual) really needs to spend time exploring the depths of one question; you should feel comfortable in doing so.
There are multiple options for dealing with the remaining questions:
• Agree to move quickly on the rest of the material. It is likely that on certain questions, there will not be much discussion.
• Agree as a class to extend the time. It is important that no one feel pressured just because they are the only one with baby-sitter issues.
• Agree to an extra session
• Use phone calls during the week to keep the discussion going
• Agree to come early next week
Why do class members have to pay every week?
The answer is NOT so Life Renewal Institute can profit- all money stays in your town! Actually there is a simple principle involved - people value things in which they invest. If something is free, it holds less emotional worth than things for which we pay. Therefore it is highly recommended that every class member, including the facilitator pay the fee every week. Fees should be kept reasonable - $5 to $10 per week.
No one should be left out of class because of finances. If there is a legitimate need, you might consider a scholarship or co-sponsorship. However, the same principle applies and this person should pay something, even if it is only $1 per week.
What happens to the money I'm supposed to collect every week?
Funds should be designated to maintain and support continued emotional healing and small groups. Examples of positive ways to invest the money:
• Sponsorship of live seminars by Ron and Nancy or other LRI team members.
• Pay for DVDs used by classes
• Helping to partially sponsor someone in a The Journey small group who can not afford the entire weekly fee.
• Promotion to encourage additional people to join future groups
• Pay for expenses of sponsoring organization or individual such as utilities, etc.
• If a facilitator is assisting multiple small groups, it is appropriate that they receive compensation for his/her time.
• Hosting a reunion of people in the area that have completed Binding The Wounds or The Journey.
• Creating a local newsletter or website so people can stay in touch.
Why can't we do the workbook with a group that has both men and women?
Same gender small groups are strongly recommended. Many questions in the workbook will raise issues that will be uncomfortable discussing with the opposite sex. A mixed sex group will inhibit many from sharing painful memories. Creating an environment where a person feels safe to share, happens more readily if the whole group is the same gender.
Does our group have to do all segments of the journey in order?
Ideally yes. The topics follow a progression in learning. It is best to do them in order. There are few issues involved in doing The Passenger, The Mode and The Route in a different sequence. Albeit, you should be aware that each of those segments becomes more intense and in depth so there is an advantage to keeping them in order. However, it is not possible to understand The Destination until you have completed at least two of the first three segments. The Destination combines principles from all of the first three segments. Without the background in both information and emotional growth, people will not benefit from The Destination. Therefore, under no circumstances can we recommend starting there.
Why should I take the test and become a registered facilitator?
There are lots of reasons (some of them are still being implemented on the web):
1. We want to know who you are. We want to be able to communicate with facilitators and support you.
2. Passing the test is not a degree or official certification but it does demonstrate that you have a basic understanding of the small group process.
3. It will allow you access to protected pages on the web. Some planned features are -
a. Special aids and supplements. As additional questions, ideas and discussion starters are developed they will be available to Registered Facilitators.
b. Facilitator Conference Calls. Periodically registered facilitators will be invited to participate in a conference call with Ron and Nancy or other experienced facilitators. It will be a Q&A time. Recordings of previous calls will be available for download.
c. Class member registration. You will have a page to register the e-mails of individuals who complete a segment. An e-mail of congratulations will be sent. Plus these addresses will be added to our e-mail master list so your classmates will receive LRI's E-News Letter.
4. Under development is a plan that will provide a small percent rebate on all items sold with your Registered Facilitator code posted in the appropriate place.
How can I talk with other facilitators?
In this Facilitator section of the LRI web site there is a chat area designed specifically for facilitators. There are areas for each segment of The Journey, for problems/challenges and for success stories. We encourage you to get involved.
What do I do if no one in my town wants to do The Journey?
There are several options that are listed in descending order of preference:
• Invite friends and acquaintances to join you on an exciting adventure. After your first successful small group, the word will spread as class members can't help but share the exciting growth in their lives.
• Go outside your town. It is worth driving a few miles. The rewards are great.
• Use technology. Start a phone group, even if it is only you and one friend from across the country. Watch the videos separately, write the answers and then talk on the phone on a consistent basis about your answers. LRI is using technology and will soon have available video conferencing so people can see and talk with people over the web.
• You and your spouse do the work together. This has some special challenges but can be rewarding if you both have the desire to make it work.
• Do the work by yourself. You'll end up frustrated by not having someone with which to share. This option will lead you back to the top of the list!
What is the best size for a small group?
4 - 6 plus a facilitator is ideal. More or less will work but you may encounter challenges with discussion time.
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