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Testimonials
Binding The Wounds (before The Journey came out) is the best thing that's hit our marriage in 30 years. We had tried marriage counseling by a very highly recommended counselor who was able to give us minimal help. The biggest thing that made such a difference in doing the Rockey's program was it got at the core issues that were the cause of our problems. We actually didn't think we had any of "those issues". We took a group of young adults to the seminar because "they" had problems and we were helpers and wanted to help them. We started the groups with that in mind. We knew that to be good facilitators we had to be vulnerable so we really scraped to come up with whatever might be applicable to the lessons. As we did this we noticed our level of difficulty in resolving problems radically changed. Conflict began to melt away. When we did get into a cycle I could ask, "Is this about rejection?" and suddenly all the peripheral stuff melted away as we looked at the real cause. It was absolutely phenomenal. We completed the first 22 weeks of BTW and waited a few weeks and started another. We had seen such a huge life change in our groups as well in us. We noticed while we were out of BTW our level of conflict began to rise again--not as bad as previously but certainly not good. Once we were back in the class the conflict melted away again with only occasional "problems". This was a pattern we came to notice. Each time this cycle happened we noticed that the conflicts were not a bad as the previous time, but they recurred without the support of the class to keep us looking at us and resolving our "stuff." After a number of cycles we actually found that we could get through that few weeks without any major problems-- for us that was about 2 years of doing the classes most of the time. I really didn't think I had any "issues." I grew up in a very loving home with NO verbal, physical or sexual abuse. As I told Ron at a seminar--I didn't have ANY bad stuff except for the fact that my dad was killed when I was two. We then went to live with my grandparents and really had a very good home. Ron looked at me and said, "Actually, that's quite severe." That took me by surprise and I had to chew on it for a long time before I really began to understand it. In the first session, I wrote a letter to my dad about his "leaving me". My husband's and my relationship began to change. I think it's harder for people who haven't had a lot of abuse growing up to identify the patterns we carry with us. We don't see ourselves as a "stark-raving mess". It took me several times through to begin to identify the patterns I had developed by growing up without a father and with a mom who did an amazing job as a single parent. That pattern for me was to feel that I must be self-sufficient and to "know" that a man could not be depended on to always be there. So without realizing it I had created an independent style of living and kept my husband at a bit of an arms-length distance. This made him feel rejected. This pattern was hard for me to see at first and it took the repetition of going through the class several times to put the pieces together. Going through BTW and now The Journey has made a total difference in my husband's relationship with our daughter also (who's also doing The Journey now). My husband said to me a few weeks ago, "You seem to accept me more than you used to--why?" It was the subtle patterns that I gradually came to identify that allowed me to allow him more leadership in our lives among many other things. I'm so grateful we came across the Rockeys and BTW and The Journey--what a difference it's made. -Carolyn W.-
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