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Testimonials
Most people looking in from the outside would have said I had a good life. I was in my late forties, reasonably successful with my own business, owned two homes and a sport fishing boat, married to my high school sweetheart, father of two--a girl and boy and close to my parents and grandparents. I was involved in my church and community and had many friends. But for as long as I could remember I had a sense of restlessness and dissatisfaction. When I had a new deal to work on I would be temporarily satisfied. If I moved to a new location or meet new people I wouldn’t feel the restlessness for a while. I felt driven to always be doing something, trying to have fun, striving for the next thing, etc. I believed that if I had a different wife and family who would understand me, make me feel good about myself and not hold me back, I would feel connected and happy. I would get into everyone else’s psyche and business, “diagnose” that they had issues or identify their problem and then tell them how they should fix it. I tried controlling everyone and everything because I felt that they couldn’t be trusted to do it themselves and somehow I was responsible for the people in my life. If they didn’t take my advice I would get louder and angrier with my delivery. I felt drained by the burden I had taken on. I didn’t realize that I feared being stuck with that burden, that everyone just wanted something from me. This made me angry at everyone, especially those that were closest to me—my family. When someone did give to me I couldn’t recognize it as such and would reject them. I wanted to escape. I wanted peace. I wanted to feel love. I believed in God, but thought He was only interested in the “big picture” and just wanted something from me too. Attending church all my life, having a Christian education and even majoring in theology in college did not give me a true understanding what a “relationship” with Him really was or how to have it. About four years ago I attended a seminar at my church, not because I was particularly interested in what the seminar had been advertized to be about, but because I thought I should support the pastor with what he was bring to the congregation. The couple that presented that weekend and were Ron and Nancy Rockey. They told their story and what they had learned from their study and experiences. I was introduced to information about what had set me up to feel unsatisfied and restless, unloved and overburdened. The pain and loneliness I felt and the means I used to constantly ignore or deny those feelings were identified. Eventually as I followed up that seminar, first with the Binding the Wounds small group experience and then The Journey classes, I came to understand why I sabotaged relationships and opportunities that would have made me more successful in every aspect of my life. Not just from the aspect of someone looking in from the outside, but from inside—my sense of worth that had nothing to do with what I owned; my sense of value that wasn’t measured by what people could get from me. I’m constantly coming to greater awareness and enjoying all my relationships as never before. I’m much less likely to reject an offering of love or friendship from those closest to me. I’m learning to give up control to the God that’s been patiently waiting for me to trust Him. Now I know how to use the tools I’ve gained from the LRI materials to change my conclusions about what my worth and value really is, I don’t always feel I have to be right about everything, or responsible, or angry, or driven to rely only on myself to “make things happen” or need to blame others for the dissatisfaction I experience and thereby deny that I have a problem. I’ve come to recognize how God is constantly working in every little aspect of my life. How He has put opportunities in front of me that have greatly increased my finances and then convicted me to use that gain to benefit others with the ministry that the Rockey’s started. I’m able to use my gifts to help others improve their relationships and thereby gain a purpose that is other-centered which also benefits me. I’m making room in my heart for God’s love by learning to forgive those that set me up to be self-reliant and self-centered. I am getting better at giving and receiving love. I’m gaining a sense of peace and experiencing real happiness. All this started when I attended a Life Renewal Institute seminar. It changed my life, let it change yours. --Jim F.--
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